The Parable of the Deviled Eggs

My three-month-old nephew received an infant blessing by his father at church this Sunday.   This is a special opportunity within my church for families to come together and celebrate little ones.  Most often, the family will meet afterwards for a brunch.  I had a plethora of eggs leftover from our pancake breakfast fundraiser so I offered, somewhat short-sightedly I guess, to make deviled eggs for the brunch. 

I've cooked perfectly respectable hard-boiled eggs in the past so I wasn't expecting much difficulty.  I thought I might even doll them up a bit, for the special occasion.  This could reflect something similar to what I had in mind:

Instead, for whatever reason, my cooking/peeling efforts were falling short of my heighty expectations.  The whites were looking more like this:

Whaaaa???  This will not do, I told myself.  I explored different options.  I read the recommendations of supposed experts in the field of cooking.  I did what I felt I could, but each batch were coming out "awful" (by my standards, at least) and I got frustrated.  After a couple hours I threw in the towel and told my family I would be bringing lemon squares instead.  I felt my humble eggs would be an embarrassment to an otherwise polished breakfast buffet.   

My husband, aware of my frustration, sweetly offered to bake the lemon squares.  What a kind and thoughtful gesture!  I leashed Cooper, threw a coat on Chloe and took them on an evening walk while Ryan took his turn working in the kitchen.  

The next morning I went to plate the lemon squares and couldn't get them out of the pan.  Ryan must have forgotten to spray the tin before packing in the crust layer.  That (or an overnight in the fridge) made the plating effort futile.  

GREAT!!! I thought.  Grrrrr.  Now my plan B would look more pitiful than my plan A.  I had nothing presentable to bring and the brunch was starting in a matter of minutes.  For a half of a second I considered staying home.  I didn't want to show up with nothing to contribute after promising to help.  However, I recognized that my presence and support would mean a lot more to our hosts than the food I could bring, so I made a quick decision.  

I let go of my pride and brought the best of what I had to offer...the deviled eggs, no matter how hammered the whites were.  I couldn't garnish them up the way I had intended because of the lack of time, but I brought a respectable presentation...and it truly was the best I could give under the circumstances.

Braced for (maybe a little) judgement - "Who fails at boiling eggs Tanya?", a well-meaning chuckle or two, or the potential of bringing home a still-full tray of eggs (because noone would want them), I placed them on the buffet table and a prayer was said on the food.  

I had accepted whatever was going to happen.  I was happy, however, to see that people actually enjoyed my eggs and ate the lions share of them, in spite of their meager appearance.  It had been a complete non-issue and my frustration was for nothing.  My best effort had been accepted and nothing more was expected.  I could put my troubled mind to rest.

Why do we do these things to ourselves?  We exaggerate the significance of truly unimportant issues in life.  We expect more of ourselves than what is asked or reasonable and then imagine that expectation is owned by others.  We brace for judgments, forgetting that those who truly matter see us with love.  If we DO fail at something significant, we go to dark places and imagine our situation is hopeless.  This is not God's way, it is NOT what he would want for us, and we need to understand that any correction given by our loving Father comes with encouragement and renews hope within ourselves.  

There will be a time when each of us is given the opportunity to reach a state of perfection through the atonement.  It is impossible without the Lord, and will come only after our earthly journey is complete.  For now, we need to remember that God will only ever expect our best effort...regardless of how insignificant is appears to us.  If our intentions are good and we are on a righteous path, it doesn't much matter were we stand on it.  

Jeffrey R Holland's talk from our most recent General Conference resonates the truth of this principle:

"Brothers and sisters, every one of us aspires to a more Christlike life than we often succeed in living. If we admit that honestly and are trying to improve, we are not hypocrites; we are human. May we refuse to let our own mortal follies, and the inevitable shortcomings of even the best men and women around us, make us cynical about the truths of the gospel, the truthfulness of the Church, our hope for our future, or the possibility of godliness. If we persevere, then somewhere in eternity our refinement will be finished and complete—which is the New Testament meaning of perfection."

For more from Elder Holland, follow this link: https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2017/10/be-ye-therefore-perfect-eventually?lang=eng

Don't allow Satan to convince you that your best efforts have failed you, God or others; as I did with my ironically named "deviled eggs".  Hold your head high.  Heavenly Father knows your heart.  He loves you and celebrates even your most minute successes.  They are all triumphs to He who knows and loves you most.  God never expects more than we can give and rewards every effort.  I really do believe this.  I hope you will too. 

The Big Apple

In recent anticipation of this trip, I couldn't decide whether it was coming at a horrible time (with my moms passing) or an optimal one.  But the reservations were made, the fees were paid, and one way or another it looked like it would be happening.  I'm glad it did.  It was a welcome distraction from the heaviness of the last month and sent me home stronger, better prepared to face the future.

We left the SLC airport at midnight, hoping to sleep on the plane before hitting the ground running at 6:20am in New York City, but the sleeping part didn't come very easily for any of us.  My travel companions on this trip were Ryan (of course), Shantele, Josh, Tami and Richard.  Chloe got to stay with her grandpa and with her aunt/uncle/cousins on a rotating schedule.  NYC isn't the ideal place for a busy, roaming toddler, we decided...particularly when considering the pace we anticipated keeping this trip.  She was in excellent hands but still, I missed her terribly.  From here on out, I may need to reevaluate the types of vacations we take so that she can come along. :)

I was the designated tour guide as I was the only person to have visited NYC before.  I was surprised at the changes made from my last visit, or at least my memory of them.  Our first stop (not counting McDonalds) after dropping off our luggage at Marriott was the Rockefeller Center, and more specifically, the Top of the Rock Observation Deck.

I had never been up there before and have to say that I enjoyed the view from its skyscraper more than that of the empire state building.  There is glass instead of a chain-link fence so you get more unobstructed pictures; it is less crowded; has a neater elevator; and overlooks the empire state bldg which is a grand icon of the city...why wouldn't you want it in the picture?!  
We ran into so many dutch visitors, all dressed in traditional attire, and even saw a beautiful bride and groom getting pictures up there.

I think being up there excited everyone for what they would be experiencing over the coming week!  Note to self for next time: that building has lots of mouth-watering restaurants inside.  I should check one out next time.  We then dropped down to the main floor, saw their Christmas Tree's crowning ornament, the crystal star on display in a fancy jewelry store...

...and came out of the building right in front of St. Patrick's Cathedral.  I couldn't have planned that any better because I really had no idea which exit we were coming out from.

We took pictures then went inside the cathedral.  Man, that church is epicly large and breathtaking.  We sat in the pughs for a while, resting and looking about.

Shale lit a candle and then we were on our way to ride some bikes...but not before taking a second to explore Rockefeller square and the legostore.  They also had a fancy chocolate store ($30+ a chocolate...gag) that actually gave me some ideas for future visit-teaching gifts.

We rode our bikes through Central Park, which I had hoped would be a relaxing experience.  The people at the bike shop thought two hours would be sufficient to see all the well-known sites at the park.  They were wrong.  There is soooo much more there that I want to explore, but I guess that allows for another visit!  Nevertheless, we petaled as fast as we could to see what we could.  Another thing we didn't know before reaching the park is that there is very little road you can actually petal your bikes through.  They have so much more "walking only" trails than biking trails.  The bikes could really only travel a big ONE WAY (gag me) loop, with maybe a couple cross overs.  Ryan and I ultimately pressed our luck by pedaling the wrong way on the wide one way street to ensure we saw the most important things on our list.  Our group didn't dare follow after being yelled at by a few strangers, so we had to separate, but he and I soldiered on until we saw a police officer and HAD to pull off onto a walking trail, walking our bikes.  We carried them up stairs and rough walkways to a castle we wanted to visit...which we ended up revisiting another day as it turns out...but we didn't know that was going to happen, haha.  It was fun being a little rebellious.  In a pant, we got our bikes back within minutes of our deadline, and we were all super exhausted.  

A Sore Loss

Heaven has never gleamed as bright as it does now.

My mother, Julie Ann (Jeppesen) Hawkins passed away on September 4, 2016, unexpectedly of a heart attack.  She was 64.  Words really cannot convey what a mother brings to her child's life (biological or otherwise).  That has never seemed as clear as it does now that I have to face the idea of carrying on without her, at least for a time.

My mother always gave 150% of herself to raising and supporting her husband and children, it shows in us,  and I will herald her example and her memory as long as I live.  She is sorely missed but I know I will see her again.  Families are eternal, and so is God's plan for them.  God be with you until we meet again.  I love you Mom!

Below is a link to her obituary:
Julie Ann Hawkins Obituary

Thanks to all that have reaching out in support of our family during this difficult time.  We feel the strength of your prayers, and are grateful for your gestures of kindness and love.

The 4th, Family & Flaming Gorge

The Stephens family escaped with us to Manilla over the 4th of July this year, and it was one of the happiest weekends of my summer!  I loved sharing our place with them, and we made some fun, new memories!  The pictures tell it all, I think, so I'll leave to them to do the talking this time.  

Let's Go Jazz!

Dustin was able to snag tickets to the Jazz vs. Houston Rockets game and invited us along!  The two teams we equally matched so it made for an entertaining night.  I love close games!  It was nice being able to bring Chloe along and I think I can safely say she had a great time!  She loved having her own seat (which I had to hold down while she sat - and stood - on it).

She loved the music, enormous screens and the energy of the fans!  She enjoyed seeing her cousins and clapping with the crowd (even when the Rockets scored a point).  And probably most of all, she enjoyed the string of drinking fountains we visited during the 3rd quarter when she was getting a little antsy.

I loved the family time, introducing Chloe to something new, and the cuddles I got as Chloe was winding down during the fourth quarter.  The Jazz bear was fun to watch.  At one point, he took a plastic sled and flew headfirst down the stairs of the lower bowl.  I can't believe he managed it!  And the Jazz played well, so that was fun!  The game went into overtime and the kids were all past their bedtime so we watched the final minutes in the hallway so we could be among the first to our cars.  The Jazz won!!  Thanks for Dustin, Shar, and Zions Bank for a great night!

Selfie-made Smiles

MaKenzie's baptism!

  

We were fortunate enough to be present for our niece's baptism this Saturday.  

I have always called her my bestest litle buddy, but she is growing out of that label all too quickly!

It was wonderful to have the family there and to get reacquainted with Dustin's family members.

Our diva

We are so proud of MaKenzie for the decision she has made to get baptized and know if will bring her great happiness, peace and direction in life.  She is quite the young lady!!!  Back at home, I asked her how she felt about receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost and loved her response..."Well, it doesn't seem all that different because, you know, it's (meaning the Spirit) here (at her home)."  What a wonderful thing to be able to say, and a great tribute to the efforts of her parents in making their home a place where the spirit will always reside.