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Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Merry Christmas

We are so excited for this holiday season!  Chloe is finally old enough to open her gifts and show enthusiasm with what she gets!  Spoil alert Chloe...she is getting a Little People Nativity Set, princess tent and Frozen camping chair!  I know for a fact she will love all of it!

The other GREAT thing about this holiday season is that the Allens (Ryan's sister and brother-in-law) have moved back to Utah with their 2 girls, MaKenzie and Alisha.  I am thrilled for Chloe to have an opportunity to get to know her cousins better!  Spending this Christmas together as a family will be a real treat!

I am so grateful for the Saviors life, for his service and example to mankind and for his death, which promises us a life ever after...one that promises happiness, forgiveness of sin, and eternal strands that link us to those we love.  I hope you all enjoy your holidays and this Christmas card!


Thursday, December 3, 2015

Church Meetings are Awesome

I hope my friend, Chris Taylor, doesn't mind that I single him out in my blog but last Sunday I was very touched by a lesson he gave in our Sunday School meeting at church.  Asked on the sudden to share a message with the group, he bravely stood and shared a gospel study that had recently left an impression on him.  He blew me away with the Spirit in that lesson and I felt the desire to reinvigorate my scripture study so that I always have a beautiful, powerful testimony building experience to pull from the rafters of my mind in a crunch!

His message came from 2 Kings 18-19 and I'll do my best no to butcher it.

In this chapter Hezekiah is king of Judah and he is a righteous and god-fearing man.  Verse 6 of chapter 18 says something I find beautiful, that "he clave to the Lord, and departed not from following him, but kept his commandments, which the Lord commanded Moses."

Above Judah was Samaria (of Isreal) and Assyria.  Shalmaneser was king of Assyria at the time.


Assyria invaded Isreal (who at the time were not doing well to obey the word of the Lord as was taught to them by Moses)  and assimilated Isreal unto its own, stomping out the religion and culture of the people by spreading them throughout their lands and forcing them to worship as the Assyrians.

The Assyrians then came to the borders of Judah and being fearful, Hezekiah sent to Shalmaneser a plea for mercy, offering the king any price to spare his people.  The king appointed a debt of 300 talents of silver and 30 talents of gold.  In order to pay this debt, Hezekiah had to ransack the temple, cutting away from its doors and inner contents.  Doing this act shows that Hezekiah was so worried for the safety of his people that he was willing to do pretty much anything, even at the cost of destroying his God's temple, to appease the King of Assyria.  It is apparent that he was experiencing a crisis of faith. I think we are often subject to this same way of thinking.  A trial or conflict comes, and we immediately resort to all we know we can do to solve the problem ourselves, without relying on God to help us.  It isn't an odd concept, it humanizes Hezekiah, and helps me to understand the magnitude of his fear. 

Soon after they receive this gold and silver, a representative of Assyria approaches the walls of Jerusalem and calls out to the Jews, saying "Hear the word of the great king, the king of Assyria:  Let not Hezekiah deceive you: for he shall not be able to deliver you out of his hand.  Neither let Hezekiah make you trust in the Lord, saying the Lord will surely deliver us, and this city shall not be delivered into the hand of the king of Assyria."

He then asked of the Jews whether the Gods of Isreal had spared them from the Assyrian armies.  Where were the Gods of Gozan, and Haran, and Rezeph, and the children of Eden?  Where were the kings of Hamath, Arpad Sephavaim, Hena and Ivah?  All these had been destroyed by the Assyrians.  Then the people are invited to join the Assyrians, as slaves more or less.

Hezekiah hears of all that is being said, and is, again, fearful.  But this time, instead of offering money and trying to resolve this predicament on his own, he makes a more faith-based decision and sends his servants to the prophet Isaiah.

Chris then paused and helped us to imagine the headspace of Hezekiah at this moment.  He is a good man, even a righteous man, who has been placed in an impossible situation.  He must have felt a tremendous amount of guilt during the time he was disassembling his God's temple, but he was feeling desperate and afraid.  He ultimately realizes there is nothing he can do to stop this threat except to rely on his God, and probably is thinking he should have done this in the first place...he had a repentant spirit, in other words.  He must have approached his God in a very humbled way after all he had done. 

Isaiah responds to Hezekiah's servants, sending back a message that "Thus saith the Lord, Be not afraid of the words which thou hast heard, with which the servants of the king of Assyria have blasphemed me.  Behold, I will send a blast upon him, and he shall hear a rumour, and shall return to his own land; and I will cause him to fall by the sword in his own land."  When Hezekiah hears Isaiah's words, he prays in the temple.  He finally puts his faith forward.

The impressions that then come upon his heart had a profound effect on me.

The Gods of those people who were defeated by the Assyrians were nothing but the working of man's hands, and not the true God of this earth.  They could not rely in whom they had trusted because those Gods were not real.  I thought of the things to come in our time, of all that is manifesting already in the world today, and thought of our great need to have faith in the true and everlasting God.

The Lord tells that He will defend and protect Jerusalem, and that is shall be saved.
And that night, while all are asleep, the Lord sends an ANGEL (an UNSEEN POWER) to the camp of Assyrians and smote an hundred fourscore and five thousand.  When the Jews of Jerusalem awoke the next morning, they saw that this threatening legion was nothing but a collection of corpses.

Concluding the story, all the prophesy of Isaiah was fulfilled.  The king learned of the demise of his armies, returned to Nineveh, and was later killed by his own sons.

How could anyone have anticipated this type of help?  If they were thinking practically and logistically, their odds of survival were slim to none.  How could they defeat such a massive army with their small number?  Where was their help to come from?  Still, the Lord provided help where help was needed.  And I need to trust that regardless of the circumstances that come upon me in life, no matter my mistakes and missteps, or how bleak the outcomes of my problems may seem, that the Lord is limitless...and that he CAN send SEEN AND UNSEEN FORCES to protect and shield me from all that threatens me and my family if I am repentant, faithful, and TRUST IN HIM MORE THAN MYSELF.  I need to have faith and work now to be deserving of that kind of protection.   I am grateful that this Gospel reminds me where I can put my trust and that the Spirit whispers to my heart the truth of the things I learn.

I'm grateful that the intended teacher of that week didn't show and that Chris was able to share the ponderings of his heart with us.  I was touched and the spirit was strong amongst all in the room.  This was truly one of the most edifying church meetings I've experienced over the past few months.  I am so grateful I was there to hear it and that Chloe cooperated so that I could.   





Monday, November 30, 2015

How was I so productive?

Super Productive Day, but how?

When i look at the list of all i accomplished today i have to wonder how it was all possible? Chloe has been sick and while she's been very well behaved and patient today, I'm still surprised i was able to do as much as I did but im also grateful.
I finished cutting and painting/stencil & sponge painting 3 grinch frames for the ward party
I put away all the christmas, halloween and thanksgiving totes/contents that were out of place.
I finished making decorations for the tree and put them in place
I decorated my windows and outside.
I kept Chloe happy, hydrated and fed. We had eggs and ham for breakfast and spaghetti with homemade meatballs for dinner.
I wrapped the remainder of the christmas presents
I wrote and delivered my visiting teaching messages for November
I created and ordered our Christmas cards for this year
I renewed my library book
I danced with Chloe to christmas music
I dropped in to say a quick hello to richard, since the family just got back from California
I called to confirm my worktime tomorrow
I tidied the office and office bathroom
I did a load of laundry
I took a bath
Yay for super productive days! And thanks to Heavenly Father for giving me the energy necessary to accomplish that much!

Saturday, October 31, 2015

Cornbellys


We visited Thanksgiving Point's Cornbellys this Autumn with Tanya's sister and had a blast!

Any fun the adults had was eclipsed by the joy Chloe experienced roaming the park freely, exploring the mazes, houses, and tunnels and riding the slides!  I think Ryan found himself most excited about the apple blasters and Tanya was pretty enthusiastic about the mexican grilled corn!  


Something really cool happened about an hour in.  A family had purchased the all-access pass that enables you to do some extra activities that the base pass doesn't cover...this includes a zipline, train ride, apple blasters, snowcones, etc.  They offered their wristbands to us at no charge and we were able to do a good share of the remaining activities it allowed.  How cool were they for sharing their passes with us?!  It was definitely heartwarming and I appreciate them for it.  Those are experiences that leave you committed to pay-it-forward.  I LOVE COOL PEOPLE.


So glad that my sister was able to share the day with us.  She is the best aunt to Chloe and an even better sibling to me!



Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Secret Talents


I've long known it but I'm not sure the world has.
Ryan has a very creative mind and lots of great input when it comes to decisions about decorating our home and the like.  It wasn't at all surprising to me that he was able to formulate an excellent plan for creating a hoverboard to celebrate Back to the Future this year!  With his father and brothers help, he was able to create an awesome representation of the real thing!  

Sunday, May 10, 2015

Is This Real Life?!!!!


Today I stand in awe of miracles.

A miracle is a welcome event that cannot be explained by science and thus is generally attributed to some divine agency.  My life has been full of these 'welcome events' and each one of them causes me to turn in gratitude to a loving Heavenly Father.  Each day I know He walks with us and leads us toward good things.  The greatest miracle to take place in my life has been becoming a mother through adoption.  This event was not a single miracle, but a galaxy of little mercies that worked together for our good.


Here are just a few:
The miracle of being born to my family in the time and place I was chosen to come here.
The miracle of coping with infertility and finding true healing.
The miracle of finding and marrying a man who loves me enough to walk this path with me.
The miracle of coming to know a friend, who ultimately facilitated the bridge between us and Chloe's birth family.  
The miracle of finding an emotional connection as strangers and knowing, through the spirit, that she could trust us with the life and well-being of the person she loves most in the world.   
The miracle of finalizing this adoption just as our agency was closing its doors on facilitating adoptions.  Chloe's court date was our caseworker's VERY LAST finalization hearing. 
The miracle of her healthy delivery.
The miracle of courage her birth mother had to demonstrate in signing relinquishment papers.
The miracle of becoming a mother in every truest sense, when it was physically impossible.
The miracle of having family and friends who support adoption and provided overwhelming support for Chloe as she joined our family.   She is showered with love at every turn.
The miracle of being filled with a greater love than I ever thought was possible.
The miracle of temple sealings and priesthood power that bind us eternally as a family.
The miracle of parenting this beautiful, intelligent, strong, healthy, incredible little girl and knowing she will be in our lives forever.  
And then, of course, are the many unseen miracles of which I have not learned. 
These miracles show me once and for all that God loves me and is over all.


And of Chloe's birthmother, who I have been thinking of the entire day...

I met her only twice and yet I love her more than words can say.  She gave me only one gift and yet I am eternally in her debt.  I know so little about her passions, ambitions and achievements and yet she sits on a pedestal and I aspire to be the type of person I know her to be.

Happy Mothers Day to the woman whose loving choice to place her daughter for adoption has illuminated my life and infused it with such joy as I have never known.  She has singularly helped me achieve the impossible and progress in my life mission.  I credit her for every lesson I learn from motherhood, for every christlike attribute that being a parent affords me.  I am learning so much from being a mom and it is all because of her.  Chloe's birthmother has provided me the source of the greatest meaning my life has known.  Every time my daughter makes me smile or laugh I have her to thank for it.  Chloe is my world and her birthmother brought her into it.  I am forever changed and better because of her confidence in us and her immeasurable love for her little girl.

I want to thank her for being the mother her daughter needed her to be.  I want to thank her for being the mother I needed her to be in order to become one myself.  I could do no better than to teach our daughter to love, honor and emulate her for the type of individual she is...one who loves first and loves most.

You can't imagine the many moments I have spent thinking of her.  Some nights as I watch her sleeping in my arms, I tear up for the sacrifices I know she has made.  I hug Chloe tighter and kiss her more often for her birthmother. When I imagine life without this perfect baby I cringe and ask God to bless and uphold her birthmother.  I ask Him to send her every righteous desire of her heart, every reward on earth and in heaven for blessing my life with so much good.  If there is ever a dream in her heart I pray she sees that it is realized in some way.  I hope she knows she is not forgotten in this home...in our lives.  I imagine her heart must be stinging more acutely today and I can only say that I do believe that all our losses will be made up.

Dear Birthmother, you are loved by Heavenly Father and will be blessed for choosing adoption for Chloe. I hope you are finding peace and happiness.  Thank you for all you have given us.  We love you truly and always have a door open for you.  Happy Mothers Day.  





Friday, April 3, 2015

Learning our Colors

Yogurt and food coloring make for lots of fun at our house!!! Chloe was more interested in using her body as a canvas than the sheet i laid down for her! 





A walker?! A walker?!

How is it that this girl can grow so fast?! She has been pulling herself up to her feet for a little while now and she's starting to get more confident about it! I love watching her mature! You can see she is proud of herself!