Rumor Has It You Aren't Using Floss Anymore!

WARNING: Contains gross dental images.  Don't say I didn't warn you.  
AND ANOTHER FULL DISCLOSURE:  I can be quite corny and if you read this post, you have to promise to feel the same about me as before you read it. Haha.  

Alright, for those of you that don't know...I am a Dental Hygienist and we see all kinds of smiles.  Some are spectacular, making me proud to know awesome people; but other smiles can seriously make you dry-heave. There have been a couple times that I've needed to put scentzy wax inside my mask to keep from gagging.  And trust me, it works a lot better than Lysol spray.  I speak from personal experience.  Trial and error. 

One day I was subbing as a hygienist for an office in SLC when Rumor Has It comes on the radio.  I'm cleaning the teeth of a man who clearly doesn't understand the value of practicing oral hygiene habits at home and suddenly I'm picturing myself standing up and modifying the lyrics of Adele's song to put him in his place.  I pictured everyone in the office stopping what they were doing to do the same thing with their patients...like a flashmob-type of thing.  I couldn't help but audibly chuckle at the thought while I was cleaning his teeth and he probably thought I was nuts, but oh well.  I would LOVE to belong to an office that would have the courage and enthusiasm to do something like this.  Heck, I'd even settle for a group of us to make an entertaining music video about something like this happening...and post it to youtube.  :)  

Here are the lyrics I came up with (sing to Adele's "Rumor Has It" melody):

What's...this I hear?

You haven't been in for a cleaning in 3 years?

They're lookin' stranger

Teeth are s'posed to be white and pretty but you must not remember.

Sure, you've got em all but tell me is this (show a pic of severe perio) really what you want?

Bless your soul, you've sent your teeth underground

They make a fool out of you and, boy, your probe depths are down

You make my heart sick cause they're filth to the core...

And rumor has it, you aren't using floss anymore.

Rumor Has It...Rumor Has It...Rumor Has It...Rumor Has It... (X2)

 She (show old lady pic ^ ) is thrice your age

But I'm guessing HER teeth will outlast yours at this stage...

I know you've been lyin’ to me...You’ve been claiming things you know you shouldn’t be.

Your breath creeps me out, and plaque's all around,

Haven't you heard the rumors?

Bless your soul, you got your head in the clouds

You think your teeth are just fine because decay's not around.

Your gums are beet red and they bleed more and more

And soon you're gonna find your pearly whites on the floor.

Rumor Has It...Rumor Has It...Rumor Has It...Rumor Has It... (X2)

All of your teeth whisper in my ear

Tell a story that I cannot bear to hear

Just cause you said it...it don't mean that you meant it

Home Care does crazy things...

 You know I said it...I promise I meant it...I know you heard it

Rumor Has It...Rumor Has It...Rumor Has It...Rumor Has It... (X3.5)

But rumor has it you don't have your teeth anymore.